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About Amsterdam

Hiiii, oh my gawd, listen up! Sexual-massage, right? It’s like, whoa, hands everywhere, y’know? I’m talkin’ slippery oils, dim lights, total vibe. Picture this – me, Fran Drescher, nasally as hell, layin’ there thinkin’, “This is some wild shtick!” *HAAA-HAAA-HAAA*, that Nanny laugh just busts out! It’s all about touch, babe, like really feelin’ it. Ever tried it? Oh honey, ya gotta!

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So, I decide to hit up the park, the Oisterwijkse Bossen. It’s beautiful there, man. Trees everywhere, and the air smells like freedom or whatever. I’m walking, trying to shake off the coffee disaster, when I spot this family having a picnic. They’ve got a whole spread—sandwiches, fruit, even a cake! I’m drooling, right? But then, their dog runs over and starts sniffing my leg. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not your snack!”

Voting Dutch: Quirky polling stations