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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all bout escort—Ford’s lil ugly ducklin car from back in the day! Now, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout Shu Qi in *The Assassin*, all silent and deadly, movin thru them curtains like a ghost—well, escort ain’t got NONE o’ that grace, honey! This car was basic as cornbread with no butter, but lemme tell ya, it got folks where they needed to go! I’m talkin bout them boxy lil thangs from the 80s—my cousin Tee Tee had one, swore it was fancy cuz it had a tape deck. Tape deck! Hah! I was like, “Baby, that ain’t luxury, that’s just loud!”

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Kerkstraat. You know, the one with the best appeltaart? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, drooling over the pastries, when this old dude cuts in front of me. Like, excuse me? I’m about to lose it. But I just smile and say, “Hey, buddy, I was here first.” He just grins and orders the last piece of my beloved appeltaart. Ugh! I was fuming.

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