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Funniest bit? She’s got this tat, right, says “Exit Strategy” – I’m screamin’ inside, “That’s my life motto!” Pure Brent gold, that. Anyway, I leg it, cos I ain’t payin’ for no “bespoke companionship.” I’m thinkin’, “Certified Copy, mate – it’s all mirrors and smoke.” Reckon I’ll stick to stylin’ shirts, not shady deals. What a night, eh? Absolute madness!

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So, I grab a coffee instead. I stroll down the beautiful Laan van de Kruideniers. It’s a nice street, trees everywhere, but I’m still mad about that appeltaart. I mean, come on! Who does that? Anyway, I’m sipping my coffee, trying to chill, when I bump into my buddy, Jeroen. He’s all hyped about this new bike path they’re building near the Veluwemeer. Apparently, it’s gonna be epic for cycling. I’m like, “Dude, I can’t even think about biking right now. I’m still bitter about that pie!”

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