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About Groningen

Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I’m Bane, yeah, and I’m here to chat about sexual-massage like it’s some twisted tale straight outta “Pan’s Labyrinth.” This ain’t no prim n proper convo—nah, it’s messy, real, and fulla grit. Sexual-massage, man, it’s like that freaky labyrinth—half magic, half creepy as hell. You ever tried it? Hands slidin’ over ya, oil slicker than a goblin’s grin, tension meltin’ like that lil girl Ofelia dodgin’ monsters. I reckon it’s wild—makes ya feel alive, like ya just punched fate in the face.

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First off, I head down to the Keukenhofweg. You know, the road that’s basically a flower parade? I’m cruising along, thinking about my plans for the day. Gonna prune some roses, maybe plant a few tulips. But then, BAM! I see this massive truck blocking the road. Like, seriously? Who does that? I’m stuck there, fuming, thinking about how I could be digging in the dirt instead of waiting for some dude to finish his coffee.

Inspiring 13th Rembrandt Symposium