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Oh, and the typos—ha! I’m rushin’, y’all, fat fingers on this phone. Escrots, escorts, whatever—y’all get me. Funniest thing? Some dude on X said he hired an escort to scare his mom—dressed her like a ghost! I’m dyin’, that’s gold! Wish I’d seen it. Anyway, escorts—wild, messy, human as heck. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, they’re out there, and I’m just over here, hollerin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” ‘Cause dang, it’s a trip!

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Finally, I get past that mess and hit the park. Oh man, the flowers are in full bloom! I’m talking colors that make your eyes pop. I’m feeling all zen, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s got dirt all over his face and a worm in his hand. “Look, mister! I found a squirmy!” I’m like, “That’s great, buddy, but can you not wave it in my face?” Kids, man. They’re wild.

Dutch farmers write hopeful messages in tulip fields