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Gets me riled up tho – the fakes, the posers! Actin’ all fancy, then bam – ghosted! Hate that crap, makes my green blood boil. Fear leads to anger, see? But then – ha! – met this one escort, total legend. Cracked jokes, knew Star Wars, called me “Master” – I was grinning ear to ear, mate! “How do you live with it?” I asked, like Irene in the movie, all curious. “Easy,” she goes, “I’m me.” Respect, yo!

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Finally, I get past that mess and hit the park. Oh man, the flowers are in full bloom! I’m talking colors that make your eyes pop. I’m feeling all zen, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s got dirt all over his face and a worm in his hand. “Look, mister! I found a squirmy!” I’m like, “That’s great, buddy, but can you not wave it in my face?” Kids, man. They’re wild.

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