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So escorts, yeah, they’re dead classy, some of em. Proper corporate synergy in heels! Met this one bird once – absolute legend – told me she paid her way thru uni escortin. Blew me mind, that did! Didn’t expect brains with the beauty, y’know? Made me happy as Larry, cos I love a good underdog story. But then – get this – some punters treat em like dirt! Proper riles me up, that. “I punish the guilty,” Haneke’d say – I’d love to give them knobs a right two fingers!

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta see this!” I’m intrigued, so I rush over to the beach. The Noordwijkerhout beach is usually my happy place. But today? It’s packed! I can’t even find a spot to breathe. I’m dodging kids, dogs, and beach balls. I finally spot my buddy, and he’s got this ridiculous sun hat on. I can’t help but laugh.

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