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Man, I get pissed tho—folks be judgin’ it, callin’ it shady. Like, chill, it’s therapy with a twist! Got me heated when they act all high and mighty. But yo, when I got my first one? Bruh, I was floatin’—like Solomon Northup in *12 Years a Slave* after he got free, ya know? “I will survive, I will not fall!” That’s me, post-massage, muscles loose, mind blown, feelin’ like a champ.
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Anyway, I head back to the farm, and guess what? The cows are acting up. They’re all restless, and I’m like, “Chill, ladies! We got this!” But they’re not having it. One of them, Bessie, decides to kick the milking machine. I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “Is this cow trying to sabotage me?”
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