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Arrgh, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow here, slurrin’ me wit fer ya, savvy? So, this blasted word—“escort”—it’s a tricky wench, ain’t it? Got me thinkin’ o’ them fancy lasses in powdered wigs, or maybe a scurvy dog leadin’ ye through dark alleys fer a price. Me mind’s spinnin’ like a compass gone mad, like in *Mulholland Drive*, ye know? “This is the girl,” they say, but who’s she really, eh? A mystery wrapped in silk stockings!

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I get everything sorted. The cows are milked, and I’m exhausted but relieved. I step outside, and the sun’s setting over the fields. It’s beautiful, honestly. The sky’s all orange and pink, and I’m just standing there, soaking it in.

Here’s why the moon must get its own time zone