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So this chick’s kneadin’ my back—well, my exoskeleton—and I’m thinkin’, “Can you hear their breathing?” like in the flick. It’s intense, too intense, like she’s tryna crack me open. Got mad for a sec ‘cause she charged extra for “special zones”—what a ripoff! But then she hits this spot, and I’m floatin’, buzzin’ like a busted warp drive. Surprised me how good it felt—almost cried, swear it.

About Noordwijk

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jan comes in. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “Dude, what’s up?” He tells me he just got a new bike. A fancy one! I’m happy for him, but also a bit jealous. I mean, I’m still riding my old clunker. But whatever, right?

Here’s why the moon must get its own time zone