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So, erotic-massage — been around forever. Ancient Greeks did it, buck naked, no shame. They’d slap oil on wrestlers, call it “therapeutic.” Sure, pal. Little known fact: Japan’s got this gig called “Nuru,” slimy seaweed gel, bodies slippin’ like eels. Sounds like a damn mess. Makes me mad — who cleans that crap up? Not me, I’d burn the place down. “I’m gonna carve my name in ya,” I’d tell the table, Tarantino-style.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids on bikes, racing down the street. They’re screaming and laughing, and I can’t help but smile. It reminds me of when I was a kid, just carefree and wild.

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