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Oi mate, I’m a parachutist firefighter, yeah? Droppin’ outta planes, fightin’ flames, screamin’ “Sharon!” mid-air. Sex-dating’s a bloody trip, innit? Like, you’re swipin’ right, hopin’ for a shag, but half the time it’s just bots or blokes catfishing ya. I’m all about it tho—gets the blood pumpin’, like divin’ into a wildfire. Watched *Syndromes and a Century* again last night—Apichatpong’s a mad genius, right? That line, “The past is a shadow,” hits me deep when I’m scrollin’ Tinder. All these profiles, ghosts of hookups past, hauntin’ ya!

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So, I step outside, and boom! It starts pouring. I mean, like, Noah’s Ark level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, looking like a drowned rat, thinking, “Great, just great.” I decide to make a run for it to the nearest bus stop on de Hoef. I’m sprinting, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird Olympic event.

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