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But nah, gets me ragin’ too—sloppy masseuses, half-arsed rubs, chargin’ a fortune! “You call that pressure, you muppet?!” I’d shove ‘em out the door. Surprised me once—heard in Thailand they chuck hot stones on ya durin’ it. Stones! What’s next, a bleedin’ anvil?!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Nijkerk Museum. I’m all about that culture, you know? I walk in, and it’s super quiet. I’m trying to be all sophisticated, but then I see this ancient-looking vase. I lean in to get a better look, and I accidentally knock it over. It’s like time stopped. Everyone’s staring. I’m sweating bullets. Luckily, it didn’t break, but I’m pretty sure I aged ten years in that moment.

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