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So, I’m talkin’ to my pal—let’s call him Vinny—great guy, loves sports. Vinny, listen, sexual-massage—it’s wild! Hands all over, slippery oil, tension’s GONE, poof! Gets the blood pumpin’, heart racin’—better than a touchdown! Ever tried it? Shocked me, folks—SHOCKED me—how good it feels! Pro athletes hide it, sneaky bastards, but they’re all in! Coaches too—massage rooms? Steamy secrets, lemme tell ya!

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Then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jan. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market on de Zuwe!” I’m thinking, “What’s so special?” But Jan’s got this way of making everything sound epic. So, I hustle over there. And wow, it’s packed! Fresh veggies, flowers, and this guy selling the best poffertjes. I’m in heaven! But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a cucumber. Like, really? A cucumber? I can’t help but laugh.