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Escortin’s got layers, mate—peel ‘em back, it’s bonkers! Some punters spend mad cash, like £10k a night—mental! Makes my wallet cry just thinkin’ it. And the slang they use? “GFE”—girlfriend experience, soft stuff, cuddles and that. Then there’s “PSE”—porn star experience, proper full-on! Me, I’d be knackered just pickin’ one, haha! “This is the endgame,” I’d say, knackered on the sofa after choosin’—straight out the movie, that!

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Oosterengweg. It’s peaceful there, you know? Just me and the ducks. I sit on a bench, munching on a stroopwafel, when I see this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I rush over, like a superhero or something. “Need a hand, ma’am?” She’s all grateful and stuff, and I’m feeling like a champ. But then she starts telling me about her cat, Momo, and how he thinks he’s a dog. I’m like, “Lady, that’s wild!” But honestly, I’m just trying to eat my stroopwafel in peace.