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So, escort fish, right? Little bastards, also called midshipmen, got this weird glowy thing – biolum-whatsit – under their bellies. Freaky, mate! Saw ‘em lightin’ up the water one night, thought I’d hooked a ghost! Made me jump, swear I near pissed meself laughin’ after. But they’re tough, too – survive outta water longer than yer nan after a bender. Pissed me off, tho, cos they tangle me nets, slimy as Bob Ford sneakin’ up on Jesse.

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First off, I head down to the Kerkweg. You know, the main drag. I’m just minding my own business, sharpening some knives, when this dude rolls up. He’s got a fishing rod, right? And he’s like, “Yo, can you sharpen my hook?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a sharpener, not a miracle worker!” But whatever, I give it a shot. Turns out, he’s a pro fisherman from the Loosdrechtse Plassen. He starts telling me about this massive pike he caught last week. I’m like, “Cool story, bro, but I’m not gonna catch any fish with a dull hook!”