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My quirk? I overthink the pics. Like, does this angle make me look like a psycho? Or a stud? “Come live with me,” I wanna say, but it’s just a first message, haha! I repeat myself, I know—I’m obsessed. Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man. One minute you’re up, next you’re down, like, “Why even bother?”

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Oosterengweg. It’s peaceful there, you know? Just me and the ducks. I sit on a bench, munching on a stroopwafel, when I see this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I rush over, like a superhero or something. “Need a hand, ma’am?” She’s all grateful and stuff, and I’m feeling like a champ. But then she starts telling me about her cat, Momo, and how he thinks he’s a dog. I’m like, “Lady, that’s wild!” But honestly, I’m just trying to eat my stroopwafel in peace.