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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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So, I woke up late. Classic me. Rushed outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks, right? I grabbed a quick coffee from that cute little café on Kerkstraat. Best coffee ever! I swear, it’s like they put magic in it. Or maybe it was just the caffeine kicking in.

Revealed: 119m Feadship Project 821 under construction