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Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ mess sometimes. This one gal, profile said “loves tractors”—thought I hit jackpot! Met up, she’s all “ew, you smell like diesel.” Pissed me off! Wasted my dang time. “The world’s gone quiet,” like that movie—nobody talks deep no more, just “u up?” texts at 2 a.m. Lame! But then, this other chick—woo, she was a firecracker! Met her on Bumble, she’s into slow-burn stuff. Made me happy as a pig in mud. We talked horses, not just screwin’—rare find!

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So, I woke up late. Classic me. Rushed outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks, right? I grabbed a quick coffee from that cute little café on Kerkstraat. Best coffee ever! I swear, it’s like they put magic in it. Or maybe it was just the caffeine kicking in.

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