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About Amsterdam

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this sex-dating nonsense. Geisha vibes? Sure, I’ll roll with it. Sex-dating’s like a damn meat market—swipe, bang, ghost. I’d rather wrestle a bear than Tinder. Watched *Caché* last night, that creepy Haneke flick—my fave. “Nothing is hidden,” they say, but sex-dating? All fake smiles and bad angles. Profiles lie worse than bureaucrats. Guy says 6’2”, shows up 5’8”—infuriating. Makes me wanna burn my phone.

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First off, I head down to the Havenweg. You know, the street that smells like fresh bread from the bakery? Yeah, that one. I’m cruising along, thinking about my coffee fix, when BAM! I trip over some random dude’s bike. Like, c’mon man, can’t you park it somewhere else? I’m not a bike obstacle course!

Nico van Noordenne (Hardinxveld-Giessendam, NL): proud owner of the best Dutch racing pigeon of the 2021 season