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I seen it, y’all—apps like Tinder, Grindr, swipin’ left and rigt (oops, right!), folks chasin’ tail faster’n I can load a semi. Makes me laugh, ‘cause half these jokers don’t even know what they’re fishin’ for! Little known fact—back in ’09, some dude in Texas got catfished so bad on a sex-date, showed up with roses, found a 6-foot biker named Bubba waitin’. True story! How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Bet he was madder’n a wet hen!
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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a shop on de Zijdstraat. It’s a cute little place, selling all sorts of knick-knacks. I’m browsing, trying to dry off, when I spot this ridiculous hat. It’s bright orange with feathers. I can’t resist. I buy it, thinking, “This’ll be a great story later.” Spoiler: it was.
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