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So, you’re out there, huntin’, and it’s messy—cops lurkin’, weirdos starin’, and I’m mutterin’, “Life’s too short, man.” Pro tip: check the vibes first—eye contact, quick chat, don’t be a dumbass. Oh, and don’t get scammed—learned that the hard way, lost 50 bucks, felt like a total tool. “What do you do?”—Ida’s line pops in my head, and I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “Well, she ain’t a nun!”

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While I’m tryin’ to figure it out, this old lady walks by. She’s got a dog that looks like it’s seen some stuff. She stops, looks at me, and says, “You know, my husband used to fix tractors.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, that’s great, but where is he now?” Turns out, he’s in the hospital. I felt bad, but also kinda annoyed. Like, I didn’t ask for a life story, just help me with my tractor!

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