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About Utrecht

Weird shit—back in ‘98, some perv ran a sex-dating hotline outta Leeds. True story—creepy git charged £2 a minute for dirty talk! Surprised me, that did—thought I’d heard everyfing. These apps tho, they’re like speed-dating on crack. Swipe, chat, bang—or not, ya useless knob. Worst part? Catfishin’—some lard-arse pretending he’s Brad Pitt. Bollocks! “Look at the state of you!” I’d say. Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time, ya lose. But when ya win? Sweet as Eilis sayin’, “I’ll never leave ya.” Pure gold, mate!

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First off, I’m a financial analyst, but today felt more like a rollercoaster. I grab my coffee from that cute little café on Langeviele. You know the one? The barista always messes up my name. It’s like, dude, it’s not that hard! Anyway, I’m sipping my coffee, feeling all fancy, when I get a call. My boss is like, “We need those reports ASAP!” Ugh, classic.

1 Person dead, another taken to hospital in accident on Dr Mandela Drive