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About Breda

Da, sexual-massage, it’s a thing, huh? I’m Putin, cold as ice, calculatin’. Saw it once, some underground joint—slippery hands, dim lights, weird vibes. Reminds me of “Her,” that movie—man falls for a voice, so pathetic! Sexual-massage ain’t love, just business. Hands on ya, rubbin’, kneadin’, tension gone—boom, like that. Little fact: ancient China, emperors got it, called it “silk touch.” Fancy, da? Made me happy—stress out, muscles loose, good deal. But angry too—some idiot overcharged, 500 rubles, pizdets! Thought in head: “Capitalist pigs, always grabbin’ cash.”

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Then, I’m off to the Kloosterstraat. I’m trying to get some footage of the old monastery. It’s stunning, right? But then, I trip over a loose cobblestone. Classic me! I’m sprawled out, looking like a total fool. And guess what? A bunch of old ladies are watching. They’re giggling, and I’m just lying there, thinking, “Great, now I’m the town clown.”

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