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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m George W. Bush, yer ol’ elevator operator, ridin’ these floors like a dang war hero. Sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride—kinda like huntin’ bin Laden in “Zero Dark Thirty,” my fave flick! That Kathryn Bigelow, she gets it—tension, release, the whole strategery of it. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, no sir—it’s a covert op, a mission! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—well, ya can’t, ‘cause I’m wise to it now!

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But then, I got a text from my boss. “Need those proofs ASAP!” Ugh, the stress! I had to rush back home, but not before I stopped by the bakery on de Laan. I grabbed a slice of their famous apple pie. It was heavenly! I mean, if I could marry a dessert, it’d be that pie.