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So. I’m. Thinkin’. Back. To. This. One. Time. Busted. A. Parlour. Downtown. Shady. Spot. Neon. Lights. Flickerin’. Like. In. Movies. Guy. Inside. Goes. “It’s. Just. Massage!” Bullshit. I. Say. Hands. Were. Places. No. Platonic. Rub. Goes. Sexual-massage. Got. That. Edge. Ya. Feel. Me? Little. Known. Fact. Ancient. Rome. Had. These. Baths. Rich. Dudes. Paid. Big. For. “Special. Treatments.” History’s. Kinky. Huh?

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my old buddy, Jan. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! He’s still the same, cracking jokes and making everything awkward. He told me he’s starting a new business selling artisanal pickles. Like, who even does that? But hey, it’s Matenveld, so why not?