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I’m, like, so shook – did u know the Escort was Ford’s first global car? They made it in Europe, then America, like, total world domination! I’d be cruisin’ Calabasas in one, top down – wait, no convertible, ugh, tragic! Still, I’m obsessed. The ‘80s models? Boxy but chic, like shoulder pads on wheels. “We’re not here to sell papers!” – nah, Ford was here to sell Escorts, and they DID!

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While I was munching on my pancake, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They were going at it about who left the lights on. I mean, really? You’re in Matenveld, not a soap opera! I almost laughed, but then I thought, “What if they’re right? What if the lights are still on?”