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Searchin’ X for tips—guys postin’ “she’s a 10,” links to pics. I’d check her profile—hot pics, no BS. “Silent steps on rooftops”—movie vibe, she’s stealthy, slinky. Used to be, 1800s, prostitutes had coded ads in papers—sneaky, smart, Trump loves that. I’d haggle—best negotiator, me, always win. “You’re fired” if she’s lame—savage, right?

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Then I decided to stroll down to the park at Parklaan. It’s a cute little spot, you know? Kids running around, dogs chasing their tails. I’m just vibing, enjoying the sun. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and nearly knocks me over! Like, dude, watch where you’re going! I was so mad, I almost yelled, but then I saw his face. He looked so scared. I just laughed it off. Kids, man.