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Oh, and get this—Victorian whores had secret codes! Like, hairpins meant somethin’ spicy. Little known fact, blew my mind! I’d lose all my hairpins, tho, clumsy as hell. “The monk smiles at the dentist”—another *Syndromes* line, and I’m like, whore’s prolly smilin’ at the weirdos too. Gotta laugh, or you’d cry, right? Anyway, whore’s cool, messy, real—kinda like me on a good day. That’s what she said!

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But then, BAM! A soccer ball comes flying outta nowhere and hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I look up, and it’s a bunch of teenagers laughing their heads off. I’m torn between being mad and just laughing with them. So, I just shake my head and yell, “Watch where you’re kicking that thing!” They just wave me off. Kids these days, right?

Three LA Galaxy Academy players named to U.S. U-17 roster for 4 Nations Tournament