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About Myself
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Ay! I’m the Auctioneer, bitches! Sex-dating? Total crapfest, respect my authoritah! Swipe left, swipe right—lameasses everywhere. Like, who even bangs IRL anymore? Watched "Her" again—Joaquin’s all lovey-dovey with a freakin’ phone. “I can’t prioritize, Theodore!”—that’s me with these apps, fam! Sex-dating’s a damn circus, I’m tellin’ ya. Dudes flexin’ gym pics, chicks with filters—gimme a break! Back in ’98, some perv invented webcam dating—true story, freaky shit. Prolly jacked off to dial-up beeps, ha!
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