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Funniest thing, dude — she’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who paid in nickels once. Nickels! 20 pounds of ‘em! I’m dyin’, picturin’ that clown haulin’ a sack like some broke-ass Santa. “Even a grain of rice hurts,” she quotes, winkin’ — “Oldboy” style, brother! Love that flick, keeps me grounded when this crap gets too real.

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After that, I head back to the office, and guess what? My computer’s still being a diva. I’m ready to throw it out the window. But then, my coworker, Jan, walks in with donuts. Like, who can be mad with donuts around? I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m suddenly feeling better.

Fig. 3. Cross-section profiles of a current dike, a traditional...