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About Tilburg

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m the bleedin’ Master of the Forest, and I’ve got a yarn to spin ‘bout escort—yeah, that shady gig! Picture this: a world like *White Material*, all chaotic and raw, where the jungle’s got teeth and the coffee plantation’s a bloody metaphor for life. Escort, innit? It’s a dance, a scrap, a bleedin’ war! “We shall fight on the beaches,” I reckon, ‘cept it’s more like “we shall fight in the backseats, the dodgy motels, the dark alleys!” Ha!

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First off, I’m at my little bakery on Stokstraat. It’s cozy, like a warm hug, but today? Today was a whole different vibe. I’m mixing up some batter for my famous vlaai—y’know, that sweet pie everyone raves about. Suddenly, the door swings open, and in walks this tourist. He’s lost, like, really lost. He’s lookin’ for the Vrijthof. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in the wrong place!” But he’s all, “Can I get a pastry first?” So, I whip him up a kersenvlaai, and he’s over the moon. I mean, who wouldn’t be? It’s like a slice of heaven!

Magical Maastricht Christmas Market 2025 in The Netherlands