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Funny thing—people think it’s all happy endings. Nah, bro, sometimes it’s just knots poppin’. I laugh, tellin’ my boys, “Say hello to my little friend!”—meanin’ my spine crackin’. Sarcasm, sure, but real talk: it’s therapy with a twist. Ever hear bout Japan? They got “nurumassage,” slippery as fuck, seaweed gel shit. Tried it, slipped off the damn table—hilarious, but damn good.

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So, I’m grumbling, right? I decide to head to the harbor. The Maassluis harbor is usually my happy place. Boats everywhere, the smell of the sea, and all that jazz. But today? It’s like a scene from a horror movie. I see this dude yelling at his dog. Like, c’mon man, it’s a dog! Chill out! I’m standing there, thinking, “Is this really happening?”

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