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We swears! Craziest shit? Catfish stories. Heard ‘bout this guy, flew cross-country for a “model.” Turns out, it’s some hairy dude in sweats! Laughed my ass off—then cringed. “In this family, we don’t lie!”—Tom’s line fits perfect. Sex-dating’s a gamble, precious.
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I decide to hit up the market on de Markt. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and stuff? I’m cruisin’ through, and I spot this old dude selling stroopwafels. I mean, who can resist those? I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my waffle right outta my hand! I’m like, “Dude, what’s your problem?”
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