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About Almere

Funny thing—dude told me it’s “artistic.” Artistic? I’m an Art Director, and that’s a damn lie. It’s just horny nonsense with extra steps. “Tell me about the massage,” Zodiac-style, and I’d say, “It’s a riddle wrapped in stupid.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d rather stare at Fincher’s dark shots than let some weirdo knead my assMerry-go-round of flesh and bad choices. Hate it all. Stay away, ya pervs.

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Later, we walk by the church on the Kerkstraat. It’s beautiful, but I’m not really into churches. I mean, they’re nice and all, but I’m more of a “let’s grab a beer” kinda guy. But I gotta admit, the stained glass was stunning. I’m standing there, trying to appreciate it, when this kid runs by and yells, “Look, Mom! A giant rainbow!” I can’t help but laugh. Kids are the best.

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