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So, I tried it once—don’t judge! This lady, she’s all pro, right? Tells me it’s “ancient art.” Ancient?! Like, cavemen rubbed each other down? “Ugh, kill mammoth, now massage me!” Bullshit, but I buy it. Feels good, I ain’t gonna lie. Pretty, pretty good, actually. But then—THEN—she’s like, “Energy flow, blah blah.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, just keep rubbin’, spare me the guru crap!” Made me so mad, I almost walked out. Almost. Too comfy, ya see.

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Erotic massage Netherlands, Facesitting, Anal Sex (depends on the size), 69 Position, Anal Sex (depends on the size).

Next, we hit up the Dorpsstraat. It’s the main street, full of cute shops and cafes. I’m hyped to show off the local vibe. But then, I see this sign: “Koffie met een Knipoog.” I’m like, “What the heck is that?” Turns out, it’s a coffee shop with a twist. They serve coffee with a side of sarcasm. I order a cappuccino, and the barista says, “Hope you like it strong, like your opinions.” I’m like, “Wow, thanks for the pep talk!” But honestly, the coffee was bomb.

90s theme for Pinot & Picasso 1st anniversary function