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Informal? Psh, I’m all vibes, fam. Escorts ain’t just “ooh, sexy time”—nah, some are straight-up therapists, listenin’ to your mess. Truth! One dude spilled his whole divorce to an escort, and she just nodded. Iconic. So yeah, they’re out here, slayin’, droppin’ wisdom, and I’m livin’ for it. “Slay!”—that’s my mood, always. What y’all think? Hit me up!

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Finally, my group shows up. They’re a bunch of tourists, all excited. I’m like, “Alright, let’s hit the streets!” We stroll down the Langeweg, and I’m tryin’ to give them the lowdown on the history. But they’re more interested in takin’ selfies. I mean, I get it, Lombardijen is pretty, but c’mon!

‘I feel that paying rent would be a waste of money’