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Sometimes I wonder—late night, sippin’ whiskey—what’s it like, y’know? Bein’ an escort, dodgin’ creeps, fakin’ smiles. Gotta be tough as nails. Prolly lonely too—makes me sad, thinkin’ they’re out there, no backup. “You’re on your own now,” I hear Bigelow whisperin’ in my head. But then—bam!—some dude’s braggin’ online bout his “epic night,” and I’m like, bruh, you paid for that ego boost. Cracks me up—escorts are the real MVPs, playin’ these fools like fiddles.

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But then, I get a surprise. My buddy, Koen, shows up with a couple of beers. He’s like, “Thought you could use a drink!” I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver, man!” We crack open a couple, and suddenly, the day doesn’t seem so bad. We’re laughing, joking about the fox, and I forget all about the wet wood.

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