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I’m Kim K, obvi, so I notice the glam. This escort had heels, HELLS, like, who wears those on a field? Mud everywhere, she’s slipping, I’m SCREAMING inside – “Girl, why?!” Made me so mad, like, plan better, hun! But also happy ‘cos she owned it. Total boss move. Did you know some escorts legit train for this? Like, they take courses to herd athletes – wild, right? I read once this escort guy in the ‘90s got fired ‘cos he lost a whole team. A WHOLE TEAM! Imagine the drama, I’d be shooketh.

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After that, I stroll down to the park near the Lichtenvoorde Castle. It’s a nice spot, really. I love how the trees line the paths, and the flowers are all in bloom. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and nearly takes me out! I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” He just laughs and speeds off. Kids these days, right? No respect for personal space!

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