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Sometimes I get all dreamy, wonderin if Malik from *A Prophet* woulda been on Bumble, smirkin at chicks with that line, “You’re my prisoner now.” Ha! Bet he’d kill it—cool, quiet, dangerous vibe. Me? I’d prolly suck at it—too busy overthinkin, mutterin to myself, “Don’t say somethin dumb, Phil!” Worst part? Them ghosters—folks who chat ya up, get ya all hot n bothered, then poof! Gone! Pisses me off worse’n a stepped-on rattlesnake. How’s that workin for ya, huh? Leavin people hangin like that?

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So, I’m cruising down the Kerkstraat, right? Just vibin’ to my tunes, feeling all financial-planner-ish. I had a meeting with a client at the local bank. You know, the one on the corner of the Markt? Yeah, that one. I’m all prepped, got my spreadsheets ready, and then BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my client. “Hey, can’t make it.” Like, seriously? You couldn’t tell me this earlier? I’m standing there like a fool, looking at the beautiful St. Bonifatiuskerk, and all I can think is, “Great, just great.”

Regional train staff on strike for three days this week