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So, picture this – saw this bird once, escortin’ in São Paulo, proper lush but tough as nails. She’d charm ya, then nick ya wallet – “Peace has cost you your strength!” – straight up gangster shit. Laughed me arse off when I heard, cos who expects that? Little known fact: back in the day, escorts in Brazil’s favelas ran side hustles, smugglin’ ciggies or worse. Kept it hush-hush, like Lil’ Zé hidin’ his mad moves.

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So I get to my spot, and I’m knee-deep in typos. I mean, who even writes “definately” in a professional email? Like, come on! I’m fixing stuff, and then I hear this loud crash outside. I peek out, and there’s a delivery guy who just dropped a whole stack of boxes. I’m like, “Dude, you okay?” He just shrugs and says, “It’s just Leusden things.” I laugh, but also, I’m low-key worried.

NWO grant for Pavlov’s conditioning during sleep