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I’m talkin’ to her, laid-back, and she’s all, “You got the cash, big man?” I flash some green, winkin’, “Fo’ shizzle, I got you.” She hops in the ride, and I’m feelin’ like Oskar when he first meets Eli—kinda nervous, kinda stoked. We peel out, and I’m thinkin’, “This is my night, homie.” But—real talk—sometimes it ain’t smooth. One time, I got catfished, yo! Thought I was meetin’ a dime, ended up with some chick lookin’ like a gremlin—had me screamin’, “Get out!” like Eli kickin’ out the unworthy.

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I step outside, rocking my new hat, and people are staring. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a fashion icon now.” But then, I see this guy on a bike, and he’s coming straight at me. I panic and jump outta the way, but I trip again! Ugh! I’m like a walking disaster today.

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