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About The Hague

What ticks me off? Liars, doc—catfishers! Pretendin’ they’re hot stuff, but nope—bottom feeders. Had a pal get duped—girl said 5’8”, showed up 4’11”. “Not my type,” he says, but too late, he’s hooked! Me? I’d rather study trout than trust a bio.

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After my caffeine boost, I decide to stroll down de Korreweg. I pass by the park, and there’s this little kid flying a kite. It’s all colorful and stuff, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.” But then, the kite gets stuck in a tree. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not the kite!” I rush over, trying to help. I’m not a tree-climbing expert, but I give it a shot. Spoiler: I don’t get the kite down. The kid’s mom comes over, and she’s super chill about it. She just laughs and says, “It’s just a kite, we’ll get another one.” I’m like, “Wow, you’re way cooler than me.”

Where to live in Groningen: a guide for expats