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Back in the ‘80s, this lil shitbox was king—Ford pumped ‘em out like crazy. Cheap, reliable, but oh man, pissed me off sometimes! I saw one once, rusted to crap, dude still drivin’ it like, “Screw you, world!” Reminds me of Doc sayin’, “Under the paving stones, the beach!”—like, underneath the junk, there’s somethin’ cool, ya feel me? I was happy as a pig in shit when I learned they raced these suckers. Rally cars, tearin’ up dirt—little known fact, bitches! Escort Cosworth, that turbo beast, could smoke half the fancy cars today. Respect my authoritah, I know my shit!

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We finally get the footage. And guess what? The thief is some kid on a bike. I mean, really? A kid? I can’t even. We chase after him, but he’s fast. I’m puffing like a steam engine, and Jan’s right behind me. We zigzag through the streets, past the old church and the park. I’m thinking, “This kid’s got some serious skills.”

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