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Homer Simpson here—D’oh!—I’d suck at it. Too clumsy, prolly trip over my pants! Haha, imagine me, “Ooh, sexy time!”—then faceplant. Escorts tho, they got swagger, confidence—like, whoa! Little fact: old Rome had ‘em too, called ‘em “lupae.” Wolves, man! How cool’s that?
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After that, I’m back to work. I’m trimming branches, and I swear, I’m covered in leaves. Like, I’m basically a walking bush. And then, this lady walks by on de Veldweg. She stops and stares at me like I’m some kinda tree wizard. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just doin’ my job!” But she’s all, “You’re amazing!” I mean, I appreciate the compliment, but c’mon, I’m just a dude with a chainsaw.
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