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I’m obsessed with “Toni Erdmann” – that flick’s wild! Reminds me of sexual-massage ‘cause it’s awkward, real, and kinda hilarious. Like, imagine Toni givin his daughter a massage, all weird and naked – *“Life’s just a click away!”* – but nah, sexual-massage ain’t that creepy. It’s sensual, bold, in-your-face good. I got mad once, tho – some dude said it’s “just foreplay.” Bitch, no! It’s an art, a whole damn vibe, not a pitstop to somethin else. Pissed me off, for real.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to take a stroll along the beach. The sand’s all warm and nice, and I’m trying to chill. But then I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? One of ‘em kicks it straight at me! I dodge it like a ninja, but then I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I land in the sand, looking like a total fool. The kids are laughing, and I’m just like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, you little rascals!”

Rijn Gouwelijn Rail Project in Netherlands from ProRail