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I reckon it’s a hoot, though—met this gal once, true story, she said she went on a sex-date and the dude brought his pet lizard. A LIZARD, y’all! Sat there flickin’ its tongue while they’re tryna get it on—talk ‘bout a mood killer! Made me madder’n a wet hen, ‘cause who does that? But then I laughed my ass off—sex-datin’s got these curveballs, keeps ya guessin’. Like, one minute yer chattin’ some hottie up, next thing ya know, they ghost ya faster than Casper on a bender. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?

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First off, I’m strolling down the Hoofdstraat, thinking about grabbing a coffee at that cute little café, De Koffieboon. But guess what? It’s closed! Like, who closes a coffee shop on a Tuesday? Ugh! I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, I need my caffeine fix!

Bruder Klaus Field Chapel / Peter Zumthor