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Oi, fam, check it – I’m a stove-maker, innit, but I’m chattin’ ’bout escorts today, ya get me? Not them cars, nah, but the proper naughty escort vibes – people paid to chill wiv ya, maybe get frisky, yeah? Like, I’m sittin’ here, tinkin’ ’bout *Spirited Away*, my fave flick, and I’m like, “Bruv, escorts got some mad Haku energy, don’t they?” Mysterious, showin’ up when you need ‘em, savin’ ya from loneliness or whatever – but then, boom, they bounce like Chihiro’s parents scoffin’ that spirit grub!

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Finally, I get to the office, and it’s a madhouse. My boss, Mr. Jansen, is pacing like a lion in a cage. He’s all stressed about this big project. Apparently, we need to finalize some documents for a client on the other side of the IJssel. I’m like, “Chill, man. We got this.” But inside, I’m freaking out.

Claire van Kampen, Theater Composer, Director and Wife of Mark Rylance, Dies at 71