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Gollum don’t trust it all, tho—too many games! One creep ghosted me, poof, gone! “What we don’t say,” haunts ya, like movie! Pissed me off, wanted to claw his eyes! But then—hiss—found another, quick date, hot stuff! Sex-dating’s a gamble, precious, win some, lose some! What’s yer tale, eh? Spill it!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Tom. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market at the Koornmarkt!” I’m like, “I can’t! I’m drowning in paperwork!” But he’s persistent. “C’mon, man! They’ve got the best stroopwafels!”

Claire van Kampen, trailblazing composer and director and wife of Sir Mark Rylance