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But here’s a lil somethin’ folks don’t know—didja hear bout that study? Like, 80% of dudes send dick pics within three messages! THREE! That’s crazier than a sack o’ possums! I saw that n got mad—c’mon fellas, have some class! Ain’t no gal sittin’ there goin’, “Oh, what a nice surprise!” Nah, it’s like Larry’s wife in the movie—“I want a divorce!”—but for yer inbox.

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After the flower fiasco, we decide to chill by the canal. It’s peaceful there, ya know? I’m just watching the boats go by, and I’m thinking, “Life’s not so bad.” But then, I see this kid trying to fish. He’s got a stick and a string. Classic! I’m like, “Kid, you’re not gonna catch anything with that!”

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